How I found myself through writing after motherhood

Writing a novel can help you find yourself again after becoming a mother.

When my son was born, I was lucky enough to have a few months off from my day job to spend with him. 

Those early newborn days were tough. No sleep, a screaming baby, and I was constantly questioning all of my decisions and if I was doing the “right” thing. I had trouble with breastfeeding at the start, but after about a month or so, we fell into a good rhythm and I knew how to feed my son.

As the weeks wore on, and my husband and I slowly got more sleep, I found myself feeling…adrift during the day.

I’d wake up, feed the baby, put him to sleep, and then wander around the house until it was time to feed the baby again. Throw in a diaper change, put him back to sleep, and more wandering around on my part.

I couldn’t quite tell what was going on, but something didn’t quite feel right. I felt adrift, aimless, and not like myself in those moments.

Fortunately for me, I have an established journaling practice, and every time I start feeling a little strange in my body and can’t identify the feeling, I turn to the pages of my journal and try to unpack what’s going on.

The issue emerged almost immediately on the page. I realized that, while I was feeding my son, I felt like I had a purpose—feed him, cuddle a little, change his diaper, and get him back to sleep. 

When I wasn’t feeding him or putting him to sleep (since babies really only eat, sleep, and poop in those early days), I didn’t have another job. It was great to have the time to focus solely on motherhood and recovering from labor, but I wasn’t used to not having something to do during the day.

I’d put my writing on hold in pregnancy because it was hard to be creative while I was dealing with pregnancy symptoms. As I journaled that day and reconnected with my writing, I realized what was missing:

I’m a writer, but motherhood had upended every definition I had for myself, forcing me into a completely new role overnight, and I felt like I was losing the writer part of my identity.

Luckily, “writer” is an identity that’s easy enough to pick back up. I realized through my journaling that I missed writing stories, and that that was how I wanted to spend my free time, when my son was napping and didn’t need me to take care of him.

Now, 9 months after becoming a mom, my writer identity is as strong as ever. I spend my time caring for my son, working a full-time job, and squeezing in time for writing. I don’t consider it selfish to take this time away from my family to work on my novel; instead, I view it as a way to connect back to who I truly am.

Maybe you feel a little lost in motherhood, too. Have you ever considered that maybe tapping back into your creativity, your sense of self as a writer, might be a way to feel like yourself again?

In 1:1 coaching, I’ll help you figure out how you can create a writing practice that works for your lifestyle, plus you’ll finish the novel of your dreams. Book a sales call to get started today.